Loading a flash player to the user system.

Hi,
I am building a flash web site. I am looking for a reliable software
that directs user once he enters my site to load flash player in case
she/he does not have an updated one. I know that java script does that
trick, but many computers do not process java script. I am wondering if
any of the server side programs, such as Java or ColdFusion has this
command as well. Is any of this applications, (including java script)
going to play the flash movie from my site automatically after the
flash player has been loaded? If anyone can provide me with a sample of
code to do this job (java script or other), that will be helpfull. Also
I would like to know to what URL can I link users via the html portion
of my page as a backup in case that they dont have any flash player at
all in order to download one?
Thanks Arnie.